Back Over the Wall
by WandSparksRCoolerThanFireworks
Summary: A more chivalrous, human side of Uther to what we usually see. AU in which Merlin is a woman.


Just edited some grammar and continuity errors. Let me know if there are any more please!

Hope you enjoy!

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"Jamie! Let me up!" I commanded, clutching at the arms dangling my upper half over the castle wall. He laughed and shook me carelessly, his mirth increasing as I slipped further out of his reckless grip.

"Jamie!" We were three floors above the ground, and the plethora of weapons ready and waiting for the knights to begin their training beneath us would hardly break my fall. If this game had started as a joke, maybe even as a little harmless flirting, then it was over and I was definitely failing to see the funny side.

"James please!" My dignity was gone entirely now. My voice broke as I shrieked and my nails desperately scraped against the rock of the wall, struggling to first purchase, anything to fight gravity. I screamed wordlessly when he let go of my waist just to replace his painful, iron clasp on around my thighs.

"I've got you sweetheart, no need to cry!" His deep voice was slurred and I whimpered as I realised just how much he must have drank, and how precarious my position was. Still, I tried not to thrash about, intimately aware of how fatal the consequence would be if he released me.

Shallow, quick breaths tore from my chest while I forced myself not to move, the job getting easier as being upside down took its toll and my dizziness increased.

"James, please let me up. Please…" I pleaded pathetically, and uselessly, because he just laughed again and swung me a little from side to side.

Black spots were appearing across my vision when, _finally_, a second pair of large, masculine hands seized my waist and yanked me back over the tower wall like a rag doll. I stumbled when my feet made contact with ground, and fell forwards onto the silver-red blur in front of me. My arms rose automatically to break my fall, ending up on someone's shoulder. Face crushed against the cool chainmail shirt, I noted gratefully that this knight at least did not smell like a tavern.

I cringed at the sound of flesh hitting flesh and the accompanying pained moan, and gripped the man in front of me tighter. Usually, I'd resent myself for acting like such a weak girl, but at the moment I was still too disorientated to care. Moreover, the weight of the hand on the nape of my neck and fingers combing my hair were comforting, just as the arm around my back was steadying as my knees threatened to buckle completely.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing?" I stiffened the sound of the King's voice, but the pressure of his hands against my back and neck increased as if to reassure me, and certainly succeeded in holding me against his chest, so I assumed the question was directed at someone else and that I should stay in place. Sure enough, James' slurred intonation answered him.

"Just having a little fun, my lord," his tone was nowhere close to resembling respectful enough.

"I'm sure," King Uther responded coldly. "Take this... man to the dungeons to sober up," he directed.

I shivered as the guards passed us with James. The king's arms, heavy and grounding, remained around me until their footfalls faded, then released me slowly, checking I was balanced before moving his hands completely.

"Thank-you, Sire," My voice trembled slightly, and I spoke barely above a whisper, but I had never being more grateful to Uther Pendragon. "I… I truly appreciate your aid." I inclined my head and shoulders forward, too off-balance to attempt a curtsy.

"Of-course," I felt his keen eyes boring into the top of my head. The sensation made me squirm mentally, but I didn't fidget outwardly.

"Let's get you to Gaius," he declared abruptly. I blinked, confused.

"Yes, my Lord." Did he mean he was going to escort me himself? The other guards were gone.

Apparently he did, because he fell into step next to me. I felt as if I should be making some attempt at conversation, but walking was making me aware of injuries I hadn't paid attention to before. My left side seemed worse off than my right, so I subtly pressed a palm against my bruised side, but I couldn't do anything for my aching thighs. Pain laced up from my left knee to mid-thigh with every step, effectively silencing me while I focused on breathing evenly.

When we reached the long, winding staircase that led to the corridor directly outside of Gaius's chambers, I regarded them with horror. This would hurt.

"Here," Uther pulled my arm up so my left hand rested on his shoulder, then tucked his right arm around my waist firmly, somehow avoiding the sorest parts. "Lean on me."

"Thank you, my lord," I looked up at him gratefully, but he dismissed my thanks, and nodded towards the staircase. Right. Probably shouldn't expect to hang off the king's arm all day long.

Obligingly, I took the first step up. I hissed in pain, and floundered when I put all of my weight onto my bad leg so that the other could follow. Uther stopped me falling easily, like he expected this, and redoubled his grip on my waist, supporting more of my weight. I spared a second to be grateful I was so slight, as well as for the compassionate side of the King I hadn't seen before.

The next step was easier, the reduced pressure made the pain more bearable. We moved slowly. The king demonstrated a rare patience – or perhaps he was always patient, and I had being too focused on his unbendable attitude to magic to notice. Even so, the repeated movement irritated the damage, and the aching throb deepened. On the fifteenth step, not even a quarter of the way up, King Uther stopped me again.

"This isn't working," he told me. Sure I had managed to overstep his generosity; I released his shoulder, mentally working on an apology.

"No," he cut me off before I could speak, "I mean it would be easier if you allowed me to carry you."

His tone was courteous, and there was nothing in his expression to suggest he was annoyed, but I was still flustered as I answered.

"Er… If… I wouldn't…"

"You have saved my son's life several times, Merlin." He interrupted gracefully. "Allow me to repay you with this small favour."

Part of me retorted that having the KING of Camelot carry a mere servant up the stairs was hardly small, and to some would be considered the height of disrespect toward him, but I silenced that part when shifting my weight resulted in a bolt of pain firing up my leg.

"Repayment is unnecessary, Sire, but I would thank you for this," I inclined head again, but caught enough of his expression first to know he was satisfied with my response.

I wasn't entirely sure how he would go about this, but he surprised me by drawing both of my arms around his neck then slipping an arm beneath both my legs and back. He lifted me gently, with softness I suspected he seldom used in council meetings or in running his lands. With my face resting against his shoulder, I wondered if this was how he acted with Arthur and Morgana as children.

He jostled me occasionally, but the pain was minimal compared with walking. The seemingly effortless way he carried me put me at ease, and I relaxed by the time we were half way up the stairs. The rocking motion was slightly dizzying, and I closed my eyes against the sensation, breathing deeply. I had being exhausted before the adrenaline from the incident with Chris, I recalled, and I fought to stay awake now.

It was a battle I must have lost, because I woke on a comfortable but small bed, one I recognised as the patients' cot in Gaius's chambers. Stiffness around my left knee informed me that my leg was bandaged, and the flickering light of a candle told that I'd being asleep long enough for night to fall. Low voices drifted over to the corner I laid in, and I strained to hear who was speaking.

"It's being good to catch up, Gaius. It's being too long," I realised with a shock that the king was still here.

"Indeed Sire," Gaius answered him warmly, and I remembered how close they must be for the Uther to trust his judgement as he did.

The sound of the bench scraping across the stone floor made me realise I must have woken as he was leaving. I listened sleepily as they bade each other goodnight, but chose not to interrupt their night. Gaius wasn't fooled by my silence though, what with having so much experience with the unconscious. He sat in the stool by my bedside, and I sat up carefully, leaning against the headboard.

"The king told me what happened."

I nodded, casting my gaze towards the covers as a sense of betrayal made my eyes sting – I'd trusted James until today. Gaius hadn't though.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out. Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he told me firmly. "James, on the other hand, will be finding that the knights of Camelot rarely welcome such rash stupidity into their ranks."

"What? But he's joining them, isn't he?"

"Not without the King's trust he isn't." Gaius said, somewhat smugly.

"Why doesn't the king trust him?" I asked, confused. Gaius just stared.

"Because of me? But he barely even hurt me really, I'm just a bit bruised-"

"Merlin!" Gaius interrupted, "You are not _just a bit bruised_. Your left knee is sprained (I have no idea how you managed to walk on it), I had to give you stitches where the drunken fool slammed your head against the wall and you're damn lucky he didn't drop you to your death. Do you _really_ think that King Uther wants someone that ridiculous protecting his people?"

I was silent for a moment, pondering this. I still felt guilty that Arthur had lost a potentially good fighter over me but-

"No, I don't think that." I admitted in a small voice.

"Good," Gaius relaxed, then reached forwards to take my pulse. "Now, it's late, but I think you should eat before you go to sleep for the night. It'll be a while before you're back at work anyway, so you don't need to worry about waking up early."

Gaius fetched a bowl of soup and some water, then sat by me again and told me about his rounds today. I listened, and answered his questions, but my eyelids soon began drooping soon afterwards, despite having slept most of the afternoon away. Predictably, my Guardian ordered me to bed seconds after my bowl was empty.

He helped me to the patient's cot I'd napped on earlier – Is it napping if you were dizzy and half fell asleep, half fainted? – But I called Gaius back after he bade me goodnight.

"Gaius," I looked determinedly at my hands on the coverlet; they were scratched. "Did you thank the king for me?"

"Of-course - after the usual heart attack. You really do need to stop getting injured my girl," he joked.

I smiled wryly at his humour.

"It's strange," I paused, striving to sound casual, "I've never expected Uther to be nice to me."

I didn't mention I was terrified this generous act of kindness meant when - _if_ - he found out, the betrayal of trust would mean the pyre would be built that much faster. I didn't have to.

"Merlin…" Gaius sighed, though his expression was sympathetic rather than stern. He took one of my hands and held it between his own.

"You're a good person; your kindness and generosity draws people to you, including King Uther," Gaius smiled suddenly, "You know, he really prefers you serving Arthur and Morgana's meals with him to Gwen? As lovely as we know she is, her constant nervousness frustrates him. Your constant cheerfulness makes him feel more like their dinners are private, like he can act as a father without anyone judging him as a king."

Gaius squeezed my hand. "If finding out about your magic changes his view of you Merlin, it's his loss, because he'd be dismissing an amazing person."

Dismissing wasn't exactly an accurate synonym for brutally executing, but I supposed Gaius was trying to comfort me.

"Thank you Gaius," I forced a smile for his benefit, though a tendril of guilt lingered for lying to a man whom I'd done my utmost not to think of decent, chivalrous, kind. Fair. All the things Arthur was. All the qualities that made a just king.

Because then I might have to consider – again – that he was right about magic, and about me. Because I really didn't want to be evil, either corrupted or corruptible: A liar.

"Goodnight," I said, still smiling weakly. And maybe Gaius could tell I was still upset, because he kissed my temple and bade me sweet dreams before he settled onto his own bed on the opposite side of the chamber.

I was awake long after the Gaius blew the last candle out, and the fire burned low in the hearth. A new person had been added to my list of people to feel especially ashamed of lying to today.


End file.
